I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
