After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
