I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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