Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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