so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
