It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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