farters have to be the big spoon...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
