you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
