never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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