Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
