I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
