what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
