I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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