there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
