You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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