She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
