Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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