hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
