is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The uberlube is also flammable
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize