Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize