Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize