Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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