I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
