allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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