So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
