Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
