Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize