Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
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