You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
