FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
