so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize