Please, let me fuck your mom
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
