I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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