I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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