I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
