Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
