My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
