ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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