I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize