I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize