so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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