My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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