it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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