i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
