Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize