I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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