Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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