U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
