my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
