I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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