I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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