So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
