a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize