I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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