I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize