My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
