she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
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