I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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