at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
