The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize