My pussy is not your playground.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
