You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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