You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
