How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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