he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
