my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Randomize
