This is not my ceiling
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
