This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
