is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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