yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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