I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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