Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
