well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
