Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
