I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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