But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
